Unfortunately, I'm not talking about the g-d, f'in itchy caterpillar growing on my lip. That's only about 1/4 there.

I've been making steady progress on the Couch to 5K program. I finally passed week Two and started on Week Three last week. I was apprehensive about week three, which was: jog for 90 seconds, walk 90 seconds, jog three minutes and then walk three minutes and then repeat again.

I also had the benefit of a running coach that week. Shitbag's cousin was down for a visit, and he's an Army runner and a high school PE teacher. He was talking about something called "ultra marathons" which after looking up online, found another word for it: INSANITY!

After watching me run (he was pretty much running backwards watching my feet) he said that I pronate on my right foot and slightly supinate on my left foot(or maybe the other way around). Coincidentally, that matches up with the damage on each of my feet from the scooter accident back in August.

When we were done, he told me that I was being over-conservative and I could probably skip a rung on the program. I thought about it, but then when I looked at Week 4 and Week 5, I thought better of it. :) He showed me a few more stretches for before and after to add to what I was already doing and more importantly some other exercises to do to help re-strengthen my feet and straighten out my gait.

By the end of Week three, I was nailing the run... Week three actually seemed easier than Week two.. Week three was shorter than the other weeks, clocking in at 26 minutes and only 260-270 kcals. Week four was another story.

I did the first run last Monday and it kicked.my.ass. 32 minutes, 2.75 miles and 362 kcals. I was a wreck. Wheezing, panting and staggering home at the end of the cool down run, I made sure and stretched for a good 15 minutes before doing anything else. I went out and did it again on Wednesday before heading to Copper Falls for dinner and then did it again last night to finish off Week four. I didn't even puke, although I sure felt like it Monday night!

Week five is going to make week four look like a cakewalk. Five minutes jog, three minutes walk, five minutes jog, three minutes walk and five minutes jog again for Monday. Eight minutes on, five off, eight minutes on for Wednesday and then Friday... twenty minutes/two miles straight through. Gulp.

Each week after five is straight through runs, each getting a little longer than the previous until the end of week eight where it's three miles/thirty minutes straight through.

I've never been much of a runner, and I hated PE class with a vengeance in high school, in part because of sadistic, asshole teachers. If I had even one PE teacher like Chuck (and a little less attitude when I was a teenager) I'm sure I would have taken to running earlier. I'm aiming to hit the 5k mark before the end of the year and if I do, it will be the longest I've ever run, alligators and cannibals chasing me included.