I've been winding myself up and trying to think of some clever words to write about a gay man who was arrested detained for having the audacity to kiss another man while dancing with him, but I received this copy of a press release through two separate Facebook groups practically simultaneously a few minutes ago. I'm just going to paste it in here, and I can't really even think of anything to say at this point other than I hope they find out who the low-life cock smokers were who did it.

It hasn't hit the National Trust' website yet, but I'm sure it will be there shortly.

Update #1: Here's a link to the Recovery Program's Website with the press release.
Update #2: After a few conversations about what a suitable punishment might be (casting aside the obvious) I came up with the following idea, should the douchebag(s) be caught: A pole erected in front of the Royal Water Cruise Terminal, formerly the site of Historic Fort George. Tie the sum'bitch to the pole and have a public stoning... ok maybe not stones, but at least rotten fruit and veg in the noonday sun. And because I'm not a CRUEL person and I realize you can get dehydrated in this environment, hose him(or her) down with a firehose every now and then.

PRESS RELEASE
5th May, 2008. For immediate release.

SIX BLUE IGUANAS MURDERED IN BOTANIC PARK

Six critically endangered Grand Cayman Blue Iguanas were killed by unknown persons late on Saturday evening, in the QE II Botanic Park. The crime was discovered by volunteers with the National Trust’s Blue Iguana Recovery Programme, shortly after 9am on Sunday morning.

The iguanas appeared to have massive internal injuries, as if they had been stamped on violently and repeatedly. Some were also cut and partially dismembered. Three were found dead inside their breeding pens, two had been carried out of their pens and left in the tour area outside. The body of the sixth is still missing, but entrails on the trail outside his pen are a grim sign of his fate.

Department of Environment enforcement officer Carl Edwards was on the scene almost immediately, fast followed by the Royal Cayman Islands Police who began forensic work and have commenced an investigation. Dr. Colin Wakelin from the Department of Agriculture closed a large gash in one of the surviving victims and began making arrangements for an autopsy to confirm the causes of death, which will probably take place later today.

Dead on Sunday morning were the adult breeding males “Yellow” (sponsored by Caribbean Publishers), “Pedro” (sponsored by Websters Tours), “Digger” (sponsored by Simon Hicks), and “Eldemire” (christened by Kent Eldemire). The grand matriarch of the captive facility, “Sara”, was also dead. “Jessica” had been thrown out of the neighboring pen and was in shock, but still moving. Both females had been preparing to lay eggs.

The effort to save Jessica’s life went on into the night, but despite specialist advice by telephone from the Wildlife Conservation Society and Dr. Wakelin’s resourceful and determined attempts to stabilize her, she passed away during the night.

The persons responsible may have broken into the Park after closing hours, and found a way into the fenced-in captive breeding facility. No motive is known for this act of extreme violence against these unique and much-loved symbols of Cayman’s natural heritage. Anyone with relevant information is asked to contact the Royal Cayman Islands Police.