Drunkenness occurs when you have too much alcohol for your liver to filter out and the alcohol gets into your bloodstream causing impairment. According to an email that goes around every now and then signs of alcohol intoxication are: a lack of volume control, ravenous appetite for kebab or Denny's and karaoke.

Logic dictates that if you bypass your liver and get the alcohol directly into your bloodstream, you'll get drunker, faster.

But HOW to get that alcohol directly into your bloodstream? Injection? Too risky. Orally? That's not bypassing your liver. Your mucous membranes are another thing altogether though. You can absorb the alcohol right through them! How to get alcohol in contact with your mucous membranes? Just like in the picture. A wide, shallow vessel such as the bottom of a beer bottle works just fine. The trick is you're not drinking through your nose, the trick is to get your nose close enough to the liquid that when you inhale quickly, it creates a vacuum and the alcohol can get atomized into particles small enough to go right up your nose.

Of course, I'm completely talking out of my ass and I was already pretty damn drunk in the first place to even attempt this. The alcohol in question in this picture is champagne. Not only did it clear out my sinuses, but after I snorted it up there, I could FEEL the carbonation in the champagne bubbling inside my head. It made my eyes water and I don't remember if it made me drunker because I was already bombed.

What was the reason for the champagne? Our old buddy and roommate from The Ranch, Jake was down here with his whole family to get married. There'll be more posts and pictures coming in the next few days as I remember it and get things in order. If you'd like to jump right to the pictures, they're posted up at Flickr. I dropped the $$ on a Pro account renewal this afternoon and did a little housekeeping of my photos.