Shivering on the 49th Parallel
Sunday, February 25, 2007

...Like we're not, but I mean literally. A couple days ago, Zac found this picture online and it struck a chord with him, so he copied it and forwarded it to John, Jake and I with the caption "If John was a dog" in honor of John's infamous picture. We had a good laugh at it and John punched me in the arm when I got home that night because it made everyone think about his picture again. I laughed and said "oh this has a blog post written ALL OVER it" and he said "you better not post that picture of me again, you bastard" so I said I would be fair and post the one of me up as well. It's too bad that we don't have one of Zac in that position as well...

 

Eight years ago, when John first arrived on island, he stayed at Ash's place for the first week like so many of us did. One of the "initiations" or "rites of passage" was shots at the Lone Star and/or the Seaview until you just couldn't stand anymore. When I went through it, Ash brought over "one last shot" that when I tried to not do it, he told me it would settle my stomach. Like an idiot I believed him and did the shot. He called it a "Swiss Steak" and was Tequila, Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce. It sure settled my stomach though, as soon as I threw everything up my stomach was fine!

John wasn't so lucky though, they just kept feeding him shots until the bar closed and then took his sorry ass home. It was there, curled up around the toilet (with a beer in his hand still) that Edd took this now-infamous photo. It's not high-res, it was a film camera that we scanned the print and saved and reproduced a few times over the years. Every time I post it, John gets mad and starts punching me again. After telling the whole bar about it though, and even giving them the address to this site so they can see it themselves. :) I don't know what it is about this picture that makes me smile every time I see it.

 

Finally John got his revenge. Rather, Jenny got his revenge for him. When her and I were in Cuba a few years ago when we were still going out, we got some VIP tickets to the Tropicana cabaret. Our table was right up against the stage and being Cuba, coca cola was more expensive than Rum. They came around and put two bottles of rum on each table, and then left a couple cokes. If you ran out of cokes, they'd bring you more and it was more expensive than ordering a rum & coke at the bar. I ended up drinking a whole bottle during the course of the evening and by the end of the show, when they lower the stage to floor level and the band keeps playing and everyone starts dancing, the one-hour free salsa lesson I did back in Vancouver came flooding back to me. I was fluent in Spanish, French and Italian that night, as well as English, or rather slurred English. By the time we got back to the hotel, I was so far gone that Jenny had to help me onto the crapper and then I passed out in the bathroom. Once John heard about the picture, he demanded I post it up on the website, and it stayed up there for awhile.

It took a few years, but finally we've inducted Zac into our little Hall of Fame (or is it shame?) Friday night was his birthday and we did a bar crawl starting at six o'clock at the Hard Rock Cafe and crawled north ending up at Calico Jack's just before midnight. Steph managed to get him home in one piece and then he passed out in the bathroom. She txt'd me in the morning: "Zac passed out in the bathroom. I got pictures" PERFECT! I forwarded the message to John and waited for the Internet to deliver me the gold. There's no toilet in the frame, but passing out on the floor with your head on the scale is pretty darn close!

Now that the three of us are equally immortalized and mortified on the Internet, for posterity and with equal billing, there's really not much left to do. Google will crawl the site in a couple days and cache everything so even if my site goes dark one day, you'll be able to see it in Google's Cache or the wayback machine.

Zac, Welcome to the Hall of Shame, it sure took you long enough to get here!

Sunday, February 25, 2007 10:51:30 AM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00) | Comments [4] | Cayman | Pictures#
Friday, March 02, 2007 4:42:32 AM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
I'm not sure if I deserve such an honor. It's true that I did pass out on the bathroom floor, but it was cooler than our stuffy bedroom...and I was conducting an experiment to see how much my head would weigh as the perceived swelling decreased over a four hour sampling time period. Results to be published soon...

I also didn't end up in the "upright fetal position", using the edge of a toilet to prop my body up to allow easy escape for any type of vommitous substance...actually didn't puke at all, which I understand to be a prerequisite for the Hall of Shame. Kind of like being inducted to the Darwin Awards with out dying.

So I cannot accept this award from the Academy, but keep in mind that I will work harder to abuse alcohol in any way possible so that I may eventually take my place on the podium amongst the masters of internal disaster.

*singing* One of these pictures just doesn't belong here...three of these pictures look kinda the same!

Until next year boys;)
Sunday, March 04, 2007 4:17:04 PM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
As the first I get to make the rules Mr. Zac and I say even though you may not have prayed to the gods you will still be allowed in. I base this on the fact that neither mark nor myself spent 45 minutes saying goodbye when we left the bar if it wasn't for steph you would have ended up face down in the sand. When I say spent 45 minutes saying goodbye I mean you said goodbye to everyone and everything many many times many many many times. Also on the way to calicos I remember you tried to put your head through the window. So with all that my boy you are in and I really don't give 2 shits what you think hell maybe you were just to drunk to puke. LOL
The Founder and President
John (AKA johnny rotten)
Saturday, March 10, 2007 8:20:10 AM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
Allright JR....First off, I believe the title of "Founding Member" should belong to Doc "KY" Jelly, as he was ultimately responsible for publishing YOUR photo for everyone out there in Internet Land to see. I even remember him giving it the official title of The Hall Of Shame, which would reduce your Jobu praying ass to Inaugural Entry.

Secondly...of course it's going to take 45 minutes to say goodbye to everybody. There were a lot of people there! And I met a lot of new people that night as well! The main point is I was still SOBER enough to say goodbye;)....to everybody.

As for the window, I wasn't trying to put my head through it. I was abruptly reminded that the car had been washed that day and the windows were terribly clean after trying to wave at someone:)

So ultimately the ruling will have to fall with the publisher of this collection. I think a checklist of "Requirements for Entry" and "Conditions Met" should be placed side by side, compared to yours and we'll let the public decide on who should be in or not. Sound fair:)?

Weak....weak....WEAK argument dude! See ya at Calico's at 3ish
Saturday, March 10, 2007 10:25:29 AM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
Since when did puking become the pre-requisite??? You passed out in the bathroom, I passed out in the bathroom, John passed out in the bathroom, I think we all qualify... Now what about Paulie?? He passed out STANDING UP at Bed last week!

I was gonna say something like "The Hall of Shame: I'm not just the President, I'm a client, too!" but I think we may have to give that title to Paulie now!

the window story sounds almost as funny as me trying to get out of the car at TCBY without taking my seatbelt off first!
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