Shivering on the 49th Parallel
Tuesday, June 15, 2004

So I caught this movie Mean Machine on cable tonight. It came out on video awhile back, and I think my roommates rented it one night but I wasn't around and I missed it. I wanted to see it because it had Vinny Jones and a bunch of other guys from Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels in it. I didn't miss much, though.

from IMDB:
Plot Outline: A soccer star jailed for assault leads a group of inmates in a match against prison guards

So he's on top of the world, captain of the English national squad, gets done for drinking & driving and goes to some max security prison (unlikely). The Warden (who gets my vote for wickedest eyebrows of the year) is crooked and a gambling addict and has bankrolled a football team of guards (unlikely). The guards are a sadistic lot and somehow (I really wasnt paying too much attention to the movie) they end up having a big match against each other at the end. The warden bets his fortune against the Cons, tries to blackmail the star into throwing the match, etc etc.

Insert a couple hundred sports, underdog, hero cliches and there you have it.

So why on earth would I suggest you watch this movie? The footie match at the end is perfunctory. You know they're going to win, but it's going to be close, to build some drama. Two inmates, Bob Likely (Jason Flemyng, who played Tom in Lock, Stock) and Bob (no last name) do a play-by-play and color commentary on the game as it's going on. That was the funniest damn thing I have heard in ages. It's worth sitting through the movie just for that part. Heck, fast forward to that part and save yourself an hour even, but watch that scene.

 

Tuesday, June 15, 2004 8:40:41 PM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00) | Comments [0] | Movies#
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