Shivering on the 49th Parallel
Thursday, September 1, 2005

Have you ever noticed that the people who are naked the most SHOULDN'T BE?

Example #1: Wreck Beach. When I was growing up in Vancouver, there was this beach out by UBC called Wreck Beach. I never really figured out why it was called “Wreck” beach, or even if it was supposed to be Rec Beach. It was known as a nude beach, and always referred to in a low, reverential voice when we were kids because people hung out there, NAKED... When I was older and actually went there, there weren't many naked people around, but the ones who were were not the ones you want to see naked. Old fatties who's bellies covered up their junk, and who's breasts charmingly framed their belly buttons. Ugh.

Example #2: Anything with the words “naked”, “sex”, “confession” or “nude” in the title on HBO or Cinemax. Enough said.

Example #3: The reason for this post, people at the gym. Yes it's a locker room and there are showers there, and they even have curtains separating the shower stalls from the rest of the locker room. USE THEM. There was this old guy in there yesterday when I was done my workout who was just sorta “hanging out” in more sense than one, naked as a jaybird. OK he was gonna take a shower, so GO GET IN THE SHOWER and CLOSE THE G'DAMN CURTAIN. No, he dropped trou and stood there airing out his junk and then whipped out his cell phone and started checking voice mails and returning calls! YOU'RE NOT THAT IMPORTANT! Go shower, then cover yourself up and THEN do other stuff like check your voice mail... or wait til you get in the car like everyone else on the island. Whatever you do, just... stop standin there wafting your ball-sweat fumes all over everyone else!

Thursday, September 1, 2005 4:26:13 AM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00) | Comments [0] | Rants#
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