My rooommate Seb is in England at the moment. We were gonna go together, as I'd never been there before, but I got talked out of it. He went anyway and here's his first dispatch. (annotated, of course) :)

Landed in MIA, no problems pretty quickly though security(biometrics galore) and baggage claim. Stashed my bag at luggage drop, went and ate BK. (first mistake) Walked around for a few minutes and then spotted THE MOST COMFORTABLE SEAT in the airport. The Starbucks you mentioned has a little seating area with 2 squashy armchairs anda a double seater fake leather sofa. So I hovered around the outside of the area until the people left, then legged it inside bought a Grande Vanilla Creme, and promptly passed out for 2 hours in sofa bliss. Wicked mate, highly recommend it. (yeah, thanks for telling the millions [AND MILLIONS] about it, now I'll never get to sit there again :))

Had the 2nd worst transtlantic voyage I've ever had. Had to give up my aisle seat, so that a women could sit with her 2 boys, and sat in the middle of the 4 seater middle row. But there was a spare seat and cute german girl(who spoke english) on my right so not too bad a start. (This is where he says “I always thought the letters in Penthouse were fake, until this happened... ) She asked if she could stretch out on the 2 seats and ended up resting her head on my thigh and dozing for a couple of hours. (But let's not forget who the author is) The fact that I had chronic gas and was shifting constantly to fart away from her neck made this otherwise pleasent intimacy between strangers rather uncomfortable. (see note above, about MIA airport BK)

 I then got to stretch out, but couldn't get comfortable with out resting my feet on the guy sitting in the end row and nearly fell into the footwell when we hit some turbulence. (Suddenly, from the other direction, another potential Penthouse Letter. haha just kidding ;) )

Then the old bat in the portside aisle seat opposite our row decided to spend 2 fucking hoursbitching about how much she hated flying BA. And then started a converstaion about Menopause and Hormone Replacement therapy. I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs " Look Lady, it's between 9Pm and 3 Am for everybody on this flight and no one wants to hear about how much you hate the flight your on, and wether or no your gettting night sweats and hot flashes etc, so SHUT THE FUCK UP before I throw you out the door". However that would have meant waking up those that were managing to sleep, and seemed therefore a little futile. (This is where the Sony MDR-EX71 Noise-suppressing headphones should have been inserted. She would have given you a dirty look, but hey, what's that compared to listening to her about her hot flashes... unless she was trying to get you into the toilet for Penthouse Letter #3)

The german girl had a connecting flight to munich so decided not to botther inviting her into London with me.

Met Sacha and went out for some lunch, and to see my mum. It was a beautifully sunny day, and the big trees and greenery of God's country made me very wistfull and chilled. (The only thing wrong with that is that he's talking about England, and not Canada)

Tried to stay awake and and failed miserably as a I went back to Sacha's  flat and promptly passed out on the sofa.  Spent a beautiful evevning in the park until sundown after picking up a Pay as you go SIM card for free and some credit, shooting the shit with Sacha.

Went to sleep, woke up next morning got on a train to leeds, went out, got drunk and stayed out till 4 AM. (Good lad!) Woke up the next afternoon switched on the news and saw that someone had been shot very close to the club we were in at about the time we left, met Al and Vanessa at Divers Wherehouse and got fitted for my drysuit. (hahaha he said DRYSUIT)

Went to the pool the next day to do some CW dry suit work and then went to 8-Acre lake for some dives. Was suprisingly not cold, and had fun even though the dives were short.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pelagian/sets/946769/ for the photos including the excellent BBQ we had.

Oh yeah did I mention there's bloody loads of Stunningly gorgeous, well endowed, multi national, single girls every bloody where here. (He's like a kid in a candy store, isn't he? :))

MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yummmmy!

Hope you are all well, and having fun. Actually that's a lie I hope you are all fucking miserable without me and are desperately awaiting my return. (Keep hoping...)

Mark Can you forward this to Matty & Jules, Zack & Steph, Peter & MJ and Shitbag as I don't have any of there email addressess?! (Done, more or less, along with everyone else)

Cheers, love and hugs
Seb